^*Agakitsune*^ ~revised

You tumble backward as a shockwave of force bellows out from the cavernous pit descending before you.
Crashing to the dust below, a mighty rumbling can be felt coming from beneath the ground, accompanied by the growing sound of a kind of whooshing, air moving from one place to another.
Shaken about and head spinning, you raise your brow toward the hole just in time to receive an eyeful of dust as the howling current torrents upwards, blasting the area clean and bare.
Trying not to feel discouraged, you scramble to your feet.

As suddenly as it had begun, the howling ceases and calm is restored almost instantly.
Confused and intrigued, you edge towards the pit to get a closer look.
Heel to toe, you edge slowly across the bare earth until within reach of the rim, you peer over cautiously before dropping to your belly and crawling headfirst to the edge.

Blackness. The dirt walls visible for a few meters before impenetrable dark.
You toss in a small stone to see it vanish without consequence, not even a sound.
A small scuffling can be heard behind you, and you calmly turn over your left shoulder.

Standing before you is a red fox, seemingly young and healthy, wandering alone through the wasteland surrounds.
After scratching at the ground with its paw, it holds it elevated mid-scratch before slowly turning its head to meet your gaze.
Its eyes glimmer a sullen gold as it twitches its ears in curiosity.

You carefully roll onto your back, and slowly sit up without breaking eye contact.
The fox watches on, unmoved.
You place your hand out in front of you, in your mind telling the fox that you are no threat.
The fox slowly walks towards you without hesitation, places its paw on your outstretched hand and sits on its hind legs, all the while never breaking eye contact with you.

You lay your hand on the ground beneath the paw, and sit.
The fox says nothing, as it cannot speak the language of man, though its eyes are a gilded hallway, a grandly lit gallery of ethereal knowledge and experience unattainable through the words of the tongue.
It pours wisdom into you, and you invest deeply in understanding what it has to teach.
Time passes.
The sun rises and sets upon you, sated in sedation at the hands of a lone canid and the knowledge it bestows.

After many moons have waxed and waned, the fox raises its paw and looks toward the sky.
The world begins to return to you, the smell of the air, the feel of the sandy dirt around you and the weight of mortality all creep back into your conscious mind, as if your brain has just received a to-do list and is trying to complete everything at once.

Dazed and confused, you look up to see the fox slowly walking away into the wastes.
“Wait!” you yell hoarsely. *cough-cough* “What am i supposed to do with this? How do i use this knowledge, what does it all mean?”
The fox pauses before bounding back over to you.
It slowly approaches your face before licking you on the nose.
It sneezes twice before once more turning around and ambling off into the distance.

As the red fox fades out of sight, you wonder to yourself what it all meant.
So much time elapsed in the eyes of a wanderer, unparalleled experience that cannot be comprehended by the sane or sound.
Journeying through universes with alternate laws and incalculable differences to one another.
Where our minutes could become years, and matter could be created from nothing as if it were the apparition of some wizard or warlock.

Swimming in an ocean of possibility, your mind commands you to do only one thing.
Your body lurches suddenly and throw yourself into the pit.
Plummeting relentlessly, time once again dilates to nothing before finally you stop falling.
Instantly and without sensation, you are surrounded by pure blackness.

Time stops moving, or at least it appears to.
You feel no more hungry or thirsty than earlier that day, and after some time your mind begins to rest, freeing itself of the curiosity and fear that had previously prompted so many unanswerable questions.
Floating aimlessly within an insurmountable black abyss, you wait.
Time passes.
—– — —– — — —-  — — — — — —

Within the blink of an eye, all that was black changes to bright blue.
You close your eyes to hide from the new brightness, which after a few seconds seems to be more than just a universe of blue to replace the old black nothingness.
There is dirt around you, and you are very close to it. Low even, as if laying face down.
There is a bright light above, and you feel itchy all over.
You start to move, walking on all fours like a lizard, you scurry impatiently across what appears to be nothing more than an open expanse of dirt and dust.
In the distance you notice a small shadow on the horizon, and with your rapidly improving motor skills, you bumble towards it to get a better look.
The blurred figure slowly develops into view and you begin to make out the visage of a lone human sitting in the dirt.

You sit and watch from afar for a while.
Once the sun sets, you stand and begin walking towards the human, who upon realizing you are there, vanishes into thin air, leaving a trail of grey dust whirling into the wind.
Everything slowly fades to black.

You reawaken atop a pile of lush green grass.
A babbling brook can be heard nearby, and the smell of sweet pine needles fills your sinus as fresh air wafts through a nearby stand of conifer trees.
The hole is gone, replaced by a small black box, made of metal with the characters “01” stamped on it in white.
It has no latches or panels, and is bolted to the concrete slab below it.

Confounded but at ease, you lay back into the grass and close your eyes, a gentle breeze blankets over your thick red coat and caresses your cheek.
A small orange butterfly flutters above you before landing delicately on your nose.
As you drift into slumber, twitching your ears playfully, you suddenly hear an ominous howling noise emanating from deep within the forest.
You fall asleep.

Humans & Utopia=Incompatible

Since the dawn of man we have aspired for a perfect society.
Peppered across our mythological foundation stories and religions alike, we are taught to strive in order to achieve a state of perfection, akin to ‘heaven on earth’.
Somewhere your every need can be met with ease, and trouble is nowhere to be seen.

One without crime and poverty, free of anguish and pestilence where all people would operate in such a way as to always bolster their fellow man.
I won’t be as bold as to say that this driving force has been the aspiration for all of our technological, political and social advancements, but i have gone to the effort to type it.

This ‘perfect world’ is one where no one need fear or hate, where all errors are either instantly resolved, or cease to happen at all due to each individual’s perfect participation in accordance to the utopian societies laws and customs.

All unified.
Working together, always for the greater good.
In my own mind, it likens to some kind of perfect,  crime-free anarcho-communistic egalitarian society.

This is where the humans come into the picture.

Humans are not only all different, but we are living in the modern day.
In this modern age, despite our technological advancements, medical, transportation and otherwise, we are still fraught with inequality.
In a world where 2043 people have possession of $7.71 billion of the world’s accumulated ‘wealth’, (There has been $8.2 billion worth of gold mined to date globally)
and around 1,000,000,000 people still live in poverty (Live on less than $1.25 a day),
we are a far cry from our proposed utopia. (All values $USD) (Current world economy based on resources, gold being the historical standard and a major current standard unit of measurement for wealth)

But lets assume, hypothetically that we can level the playing field somehow, perhaps it takes 500 years, or some magical edict instantly balances the world’s wealth distribution.

We are still faced with that annoying little dilemma of conscious thought,
and individuality.

Perhaps this Utopia will be free of the social confines of today’s society.
No longer taboos nor social terrorism.
No fear of reprisal, or conflict of any nature throughout society.

But what of our beliefs.
The things that set us apart from one another (beyond superfluous physical differences).
From religions and moral standing to political agenda, philosophical belief or even personal taste in art forms etc.

Variations such as these create schisms throughout society.
However, we can assume that in a utopian world, there will be some kind of unified center of governance, without corruption, and that society would acknowledge an acceptable code-of-conduct regarding morals globally, and that everyone would, for some reason, universally abide and enjoy where the moral bar was set.

We can assume this because, the slightest malcontent among even a single group of citizens would potentially incite a global uprising, as they spread that malcontent to others causing the established state of utopian living to fall from grace, perhaps permanently.
(Assuming the government quelled the uprising it would become a global totalitarian dictatorship, the government enforcers of social peace acting almost autocratically. This uprising would be considered crime as well, therefore uttering a resurgence of penalization)

This may seem unrealistic, considering the contentedness of the people and absence of crime, and you’d be right in assuming such.
But in a world with complete freedom from hostility and reprisal, there must be an allowance for the citizens to have freedom of thought, regardless of whether freedom of expression, freedom of speech and freedom of ownership are allowed or not.
Without the most basic of these (thought), we cease to be citizens or individuals, and instead would be more akin to worker drones in an infallible and never-changing society.

For whatever reason, we all think a little differently.
Some alot differently, however, we can assume that people lying far outside the spectrum of ‘acceptable behavior’ are afflicted with some ‘medical condition’ that can, in the future be remedied completely and effectively, therefore allowing the citizen to be fully integrated into society.

In the Utopian future, these little differences between us may not be enough to inspire the creation of new religions or paths of thought, as there simply is no need for further social progression.
We cater our designs to the purpose at hand, but without inspiration, without need or adversity to overcome, Utopia would be free of new ways of doing and thinking.
But what of traditions?

Are we to wait for them to just…die out?
This may never occur, as the modern world is fraught with peril, and new methods of thought and philosophy are constantly being adapted and old ones solidified because of this.
Humans develop new ideas and designs to overcome adversity.

The future must have beliefs, as shared beliefs form the backbone of societies standards, etiquette and function as a whole.
But whose beliefs will they be?

Christian? Islamic? Atheist perhaps?
How will one overcome the other? Will everyone just magically get converted to one or another?
Perhaps a scientific revelation disproves/proves the existence of God.
There will always be non-believers, and this discovery would likely lead to a great theistic war of some kind, one way or the other.

It seems like the only way to achieve Utopia is through total, omnipotent domination of the entire populaces beliefs, and to keep their loyalty by providing ideal living conditions, (Kind of like taking really good care of your dog).
To achieve this, the removal of all other schools of thought is a relative necessity.
There needs to be ABSOLUTELY no imbalance between each person’s ability to interact, sympathize, socialize, empathize and actualize in order to sustainably maintain Utopia.

Harmony depends on resonating at the same levels, not marginally different ones.
Upsetting the balance of equality may create a ripple effect,  disrupting people in waves as the original person’s poor disposition affects those around him/her.

Despite absolutely everything that seems to stand in the way of Utopia, i believe we will one day, many painstaking years from now, achieve absolute global equality and peace.

The only question remaining is;

Which system of belief will claim the title of ‘undisputed, undeniable & untranscendable way to think, feel and act in accordance with society and your fellow man’?

Or perhaps it was ‘how many will have to be purged or forcibly converted in order for this to be achieved’?

Moral irony aside, Utopia appears to be a fleeting concept.
Perhaps our moments of perfection in life are the only true embodiment of utopia.
That utopia is in fact, a feeling or state of being as opposed to a being of state.

Maybe its a cold beer on a hot summer night, the perfect peace of the green forest or the warm embrace of a loved one.
Next time your life seems perfect, even though its only for a moment, you may think to yourself ((“I’m in Heaven right now!”))
However, theologians across the globe will tell you otherwise.

What you’re actually thinking is;
{{I’m in Utopia right now}}

The best feeling in the world.
Shared by us all, no matter how different the reason or the person feeling it.

Heaven stands to be seen.

De-Humanisation & The lives we lead

Modern society is filled with bells and whistles.
New fashion, new gadgets and an ever-changing sphere of what is ‘trendy’ and ‘cutting-edge’.

We live today in a world of distractions.
Meaningless ‘filler’ items, sold to you under the guise of ‘self-development’ or the acquisition of fame and social credentials.

These inconsequential choices, such as “What colour iPhone should i get?”, we face everyday, and are the building blocks of a troubled life.

In this scenario, it becomes all too easy to forget about the truly important aspects.
Those essentials required to change a directionless fumble through time into a rich, fulfilling experience.

If you find yourself waking up each day to confusion, fear and misdirection, wondering what you can do to turn your existence into a lifestyle, you too may need to reevaluate.

What do we want?
To be happy.
But how do we attain happiness?

Go short, and grab a few pick-me-ups, and find yourself forever searching for new sources to prolong the feeling.
With each quick-fix, each one proceeding it becomes less and less effectual.
This is the plight of the addict.
The eternal struggle of balancing the constant barrage of bad news we receive to reach a contented middle ground.

We all do it, or have been in this situation before.
Eventually, after years of grinding against your own dissatisfaction, we are faced with an ultimatum:

Commit to a life of trying to negate the personal impacts of our world forever, or to look into the future.
To look into our truest selves, and discover how to maintain our balance in a sustainable  way.
SUSTAINABLE.

Rule of thumb; if the thing/feeling you need is sourced from an external source that is unsecured (drugs, food, validation, sex, the list goes on…..), it is NOT sustainable.

Every second of life is a war.
A war against decay, an infinite maintenance of our positions here, within our own minds and in the view of others.

Would you feed your soldiers with handouts?
Load your cannons with forks and spoons?
What happens when one day, support for your cause wanes, and the hand-outs stop coming?
Your force disbands, and your cause is lost until you find the support to raise the banner once more.
After all, Mercenaries are not known for their loyalty or morale.

Do it right.
Build your army from battle-hardened regulars.
Feed them with homegrown crops and never lose sight of your supply lines.
Keep them open, or better yet, build your own.
Soldiers march fastest as the crow flies.

Whatever you want in life, remember this:
If you blow all your funding on mercenaries and fancy gadgets to shock and awe your contemporaries, you may earn their temporary respect, or even admiration.
But once the fighting truly starts, all of these quick-fixes will evaporate away.

Only home-grown troops and resources cannot be sequestered by others.
Only by investing time, effort and care into the development of the self, can we resist and overcome adversity.

Invest in the only force that will never leave or disband.
Invest in yourself.
Invest in your self-esteem, and value the only thing you will ever truly possess and experience directly.

You are Mr. or Mrs. X.
And this is your life.

“There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in introduction of a new order of things”
                                                                                                 -Niccolo Machiavelli

Autumn Rust

The background steadily dissolves away as your eyes are drawn into the centre.
Towards that single point of absolute investing focus.
There are no ‘other things’ or ‘different perspectives’ in this world.

Just a freshly-framed picture, every second of every day.
Each one appearing crisp and bold with definitive contrast, before a point is selected, and the periphery begins to exponentially corrode into that ubiquitous rusty blur that surrounds everything we cherish within the borders of our perception.

No amount of rustoleum can prevent this.
No quantity of refurbishments can lift its oxidizing growth once initialized.
All is consumed.
All, except that tiny moment.
That ever-resistent speck of data among a memorial sea of autumn-hued forgottens.

It lives on in each as a reflection of our own time-honored perceptions, and to remind you that there is always more than what we care to remember seeing.

Always another page to the chapter, another side to leaf accompanied by another insect we have yet to meet, but never will.

For he does not exist, this beyond-beckonable bug is yet another riddle pasted upon the mind’s crumbling prologue.
To know his name would be to forget the greeting card of another, as much as one cannot catch two trains at once, no matter how ‘on-time’ they may be.

The question is not ‘which bug do i want to meet’ and it never will be.
It is simply, “Do i wish to meet this bug?”

To which there is only ever one true option. Only one that requires us to invest time and energy into its manifestation.

“Yes”

(BUBBLE)

Submerged in a bubble, a thin prismatic film refracting the light into its hollow volume within.
The red checkered floor tiles, some pieces overlapping to reveal a blank and slightly  chipped fibre-board floor.
There, off in the distance across the bubble, a small metal valve is lodged directly through the bubble’s reflecting radius.
This is where the gas is injected.
There are many gases.
Some of these gases have both benevolent and malevolent properties, if applied correctly.
I am not sure who controls the admission.  Perhaps there is a red button somewhere.
One thing guaranteed throughout, they are po-tent. Always applicable, seldom renegotiable and always a value guarantee.
Or your money back. Within 24 hours of purchase.

Some eras ago, there was a day when the injection never came.
The button-presser just kept waiting and waiting.
The cities fell first into tyranny.
1 full day of civilization rending, page turning historical devolution.
Starting with the latest chapter.
Chapter 26: “This chapter is incomplete. Please complete chapter to see review”

But that’s kind of o.k, really.
Chapter reviews were never an accurate reminder of the trials at the time, or the adversity overcome.
As one looks back, the once real becomes surreal, changing forever within the frame of your mind’s limits.

There is only one time that exists.
That is this moment your spending right now.
The ever-present Present presenting itself presently.
Trust Master Oogway on this one:
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present”.

Power and Control

Something so striven for throughout human history is Power and Control.
The ability to dictate the terms of engagement.
To align and assign at sheer command of will with no discrepancy.

Millions of humans have perished, decapitated and mangled beyond recognition in order to maintain it.
Environments laid to waste to deny it, and the profits extracted to prolong it.
Ideals developed purely with its continuation at the center stage.

Ironically, it is always for nothing.

Power exists only when it is given, and can only be taken when it is no longer being wielded by another.
Eventually, there will always be a hungrier fish with a bigger gun.
To hold power over anything makes one into the oppressor of all others who also vie for that power, and will always lead to their eventual demise.

Control, as a ‘valid’ concept, doesn’t actually exist.
By definition, control is represented by being able to maintain a set of variables absolutely.
There is no such thing as ‘partial control’, as this invariably means that some variables are uncontrollable.
If we limit our range of variables, we can control anything to a tee.
Though realistically, what is the use of being able to dominate the action of one small set of variables, overlooking self-preservation of course.

Man was not meant to hold the responsibility of another.
We cannot know control, truly.
We experience coincidence, and confirm it as dictation.
We estimate, based on what we believe to know, and summarily confirm our ability to control when the variables fall in our favour.

What we have come to know as control, is actually external manipulation.
The configuring of variables into allocated sets of outcomes, and predetermining the end results, aligning them with a situation that can be considered pleasing.

Perhaps one day soon, the laws we have come to know and anticipate will change.
Our scientific discoveries will open up new ways of understanding, and dictate new configurations of variables that we can manipulate.
Perhaps it has already happened, and is constantly changing.

Control, and the Power that comes with it, are merely perceptions of the mind, or minds, of those who choose to conform to the necessitation of the variables being observed.

“This sentence is in Spanish when you’re not reading it”

First Response

We all have emotions.
Immeasurable attachments and predispositions towards certain external stimulus that trigger differing amounts of chemical release inside our brains.

As we grow and change, these levels and stimuli change with us.
What was once a wonderful occasion can become a psychological nightmare.
We grow accustomed to new things, whatever appeals to our current needs and can be incorporated by our current interests and ideals.

But what of despair.
Of nihilistic distress, and existential devaluation.

Such concepts are never felt by most, at least not as more than a passing glimpse in times of temporal suffering.
For the select unlucky few, these emotionally-parasitic concepts can bring about total destruction of the self.

Without a future-proof identity, one can only wonder what the meaning of life truly is.
Could it be that emotions are simply the product of biological necessity?
Do we feel purely to enhance/enable the attraction of a mate, and the procreation of our species, or do they possess greater meaning?

Some may say that emotions are simpler, more basal things, limited to happiness, anger, sadness and the like, and perhaps concepts such as existentialism are unrelated, psychological hang-ups that may induce emotional response.
But i beg to differ.

Feelings are a natural first-response to social stimulus, and external stimulus of many varieties. If the first response to stimulus is to ask ‘Why?’ without feeling, can it infact be considered an emotional response of sorts?

Clinically, it would be considered psychopathy, or sociopathy in a human context.

The real consideration here is that, if a large enough percentage of people (over 1% of total population seems fair to consider it a measurable anomaly) have a ‘psychopathic’ response to stimuli, can it be considered a ‘textbook’ response, and if so, is it relatively normal?

Crazy is as crazy does i suppose.

Crystal Pillar

Today i found a crystal pillar.
It was stranded, deep beneath my bed.
A relic of a long-passed era. A remnant of past occupation, discarded by an unwitting or ‘futu-relevant’ person.

Purple and green, washed throughout with layers of milky white.
A fluorite perhaps, left out of sight.
One termination, carved not formed and a flat-faced end where a hole is bored.
A ring runs through this hole. A necklace pendant once, I’m sure.
It’s hexagonal berth a fabrication of natural beauty.

It haunts me so.
For it exists here, in my place of slumber and respite.
Possessed by ghosts from some distant night’s dreams of a better world.
An idyllic world.
Where the love of another was unconditional and unending.
Differences were obsolete, with every fracture ensconced by the will to be one.

I wish to give it back.
Return to sender in emboldened splendor.
‘Fore this nightmare renders itself clear as quartz, no resorts for a mind without holidays.

I want her to know i still possess this gem.
It grows ever outwards, encrusting itself in self-dissolution by the water that surrounds me here.
Residing restlessly upon the benthic bemusement of my basal bastardry.

And there it will remain.
Encased by stale disdain and an updated edition of what once was the greatest love.
For a stone can feel no pain.

Emotional Marketplace

The bond of emotional connection is just as a product.
Created by a third, unaligned party to meet consumer needs, an emotional bond is formed outside of our logical jurisdiction.

We do not get to choose who we attach to. Some would say it is subconscious needs and desires, others would say Fate, and that True Love always finds a way to bloom, even in the most unlikely circumstances.

Akin to the properties of any product, Love becomes easier to use upon repetition. You get to know more of its features, and understand the side-effects of each application more thoroughly.

Sometimes, these bonds are formed against our will, and do not serve our personal dispositions at all. To fall in love with someone unfit or maligned can pose a great threat to our independence and personal identities. Alas, it happens anyway.

A true emotional bond never dies.
It cannot be severed, even upon the most anguishing trauma and dispossession.
Much alike any valuable product one attains for free, it can never be discarded.

It can, however, be discounted.
Reduced to bargain-basement price in order to encourage another buyer to take on the responsibility of ‘ownership’.
To persuade another (hopefully one more fitting to a personal need or creed) to scoop up this bargain, and re-purpose its features to their own needs and desires.

As with any second-hand purchase, buyer beware.
For every feature that is cutting-edge, another two concealed features exist.
Razor sharp and unnoticeable until the time in which they cut you deeper than any brand-new could ever manage.
Then we are left wondering, “Perhaps going for the more economical version was a fool’s errand”.

In the end, some of us simply cannot afford to buy new products, and will always search for a potentially ‘more affordable’ option.

And some of us hoard. ❤

Misanthropy

“People are people” it has been said.

Indeed they are. We cannot preclude a person’s whims and desires, actions or intents from past experience.
Each of us is individual in our process and direction, for the most part.

But people are products of their environment.
Molded and shaped by their peers and preoccupations.
All according to the rules and regulations set by their governing body.
That is, society.

No matter where you’re from, be it a multi-cultural, western society such as Australia, or an enclavistic, Sharia state such as ISIL.
Each and every occupant must conform to the ‘norms’ that have become accepted by its occupants.
To operate against or outside these norms will result in social pariahdom.
Unsolicited shunning and isolation from the group.

This phenomena of social inclusivism is a great cause of distress and destitution for myself.

We cannot be ourselves, unless that person is alike to others.
If someone disobeys the rules, or deviates from the common path, they are cut loose.

This deviation causes fear amongst the masses.
“If they can do this, why am i going along like the others?”
“What possibilities must lie outside my eye’s grasp if others are leaving the race i have always been a part of?”

Decent is the enemy of the state.
The enemy of any established order.

For the comfort of the self, remain entangled in these webs.
Stick to your strand, and struggle not.

For once these strands are broken, and the web escaped,
It is nearly impossible to remember how you got trapped in the first place.